Have you ever found yourself in a situation where your child is blatantly staring at a child who is in a wheelchair? Or felt flustered when your child asks (of course in a crowded grocery store!) “Mom, what’s wrong with her?” Has your child ever come home saying, “I can’t stand Billy! We missed half of our recess because Ms. Jones spent so much time trying to figure out what Billy was trying to say.”
As parents, we have all had, or will have, these types of experience with our children. Children are known
for lacking a filter in what they say. Additionally, from even a young age, children prefer children without disabilities, rather than children with disabilities, as playmates.
For these reasons, situations like those described above can occur. Helping children understand differences
is beneficial for several reasons. It helps nurture better-adjusted children who have greater practice and
ability to manage challenging situations. It normalizes differences and disability for children. It also opens our children’s worldview.
So, how do we as parents accomplish this? We can help children understand that everyone has differences and that these differences help make life interesting. We can encourage children to identify commonalities they share with another child. We can also educate our children so they are not fearful of individuals with disabilities.
Returning to the examples from above, when you do find yourself in a situation where your child is staring, acknowledge what your child is seeing and then later, at a private moment, discuss your child’s thoughts and feelings about what was seen. It may be helpful to point out that a wheelchair now means that the child has a means to move around. When asked what is wrong with another child, provide a simple but honest
explanation. Ignoring the question will only encourage your child’s belief that a child’s disability is something
that cannot or should not be talked about openly and leave them open to answers from other people/children.
Finally, when your child comes home with a complaint about a classmate, consider using it as an opportunity to provide a lesson in empathy. Can your child think of a situation when they felt quite frustrated that
someone did not understand what they were trying to convey?
As adults and parents, we have a responsibility to help educate our children and reframe their understanding of disability by encouraging discussions around commonalities and differences. When we do this our children learn more positive messages about their peers and focus on their ability rather than their disability.
As parents, we have all had, or will have, these types of experience with our children. Children are known
for lacking a filter in what they say. Additionally, from even a young age, children prefer children without disabilities, rather than children with disabilities, as playmates.
For these reasons, situations like those described above can occur. Helping children understand differences
is beneficial for several reasons. It helps nurture better-adjusted children who have greater practice and
ability to manage challenging situations. It normalizes differences and disability for children. It also opens our children’s worldview.
So, how do we as parents accomplish this? We can help children understand that everyone has differences and that these differences help make life interesting. We can encourage children to identify commonalities they share with another child. We can also educate our children so they are not fearful of individuals with disabilities.
Returning to the examples from above, when you do find yourself in a situation where your child is staring, acknowledge what your child is seeing and then later, at a private moment, discuss your child’s thoughts and feelings about what was seen. It may be helpful to point out that a wheelchair now means that the child has a means to move around. When asked what is wrong with another child, provide a simple but honest
explanation. Ignoring the question will only encourage your child’s belief that a child’s disability is something
that cannot or should not be talked about openly and leave them open to answers from other people/children.
Finally, when your child comes home with a complaint about a classmate, consider using it as an opportunity to provide a lesson in empathy. Can your child think of a situation when they felt quite frustrated that
someone did not understand what they were trying to convey?
As adults and parents, we have a responsibility to help educate our children and reframe their understanding of disability by encouraging discussions around commonalities and differences. When we do this our children learn more positive messages about their peers and focus on their ability rather than their disability.
